Mobile Hookah Brings Relief to Thousands! 07/03/2013

I failed dismally to maintain most of my new years resolutions by about January the 2nd. They are to be found in the recycle bin ready to be dredged up again later in the year, along with the weekend papers pull out promises to make me slimmer and fitter in only four weeks.

Four weeks, four weeks you’re having a laugh!  It’s taken me the best part of 30 years to get my body into this stunning state of depraved neglect. 

Oh yes, my body is a temple. It just happens to be more akin to a couple of moss covered boulders on a very small Greek island inhabited by one goat and a rather pissed off rabbit than the splendour of The Acropolis. I am, however almost certain It would qualify as an area of outstanding scientific interest to be explored and probed once I am dead, they can then marvel at how I managed to last so long.  

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As if my premonition of failure to reform my wicked ways was not enough to send me into a level five, state of emergency, pass the Prozac depression I am being made to endure yet another never ending British winter.

My desire to hibernate is at its highest point. I don’t care if there are beautiful little snowdrops every where you look, and if one more person tells me to “cheer up, spring is in the air.” I swear to god I’ll smack em!

My beloved, bless him even installed mega wattage natural anti SAD lighting in the kitchen in the vague hope of improving my dismal state of being first thing in a morning. Personally I think he was just hoping it would make me happier when I am washing up or cooking his tea?

Well it’s not bloody working! I wake up in the morning look out at the damp miserable light and just want to crawl back into bed. I ask you, is there anything positive to cling to in these dark depressing days? Well strangely, for me there is.

Yes I am finally getting to the point where I explain why I have a scantily clad woman as my headline picture.

I confess I am a sucker for a tabloid style headline, and no before you ask  I have no idea who she is although I think I may put her on my fridge door to incentivise me into shifting my fat arse into doing some exercise.  It's what she 's doing  you should be paying attention to. Stick with it all will become clear.

After many years of trying, I have finally found what I think may be a solution to my ridiculous need for the weed known as tobacco.

Being a smoker for most of my adult life I have spent the last 32 years battling with an addiction that has made me old before my time and that will, if not curbed, inevitably cause me untold health problems and quite probably death!.

In my quest to quit, I have tried everything. Cold turkey, hypnotism, patches, and chewing gum, none of my attempts have lasted more than a few months and my family and friends were at the stage where they would just laugh if I said I was trying to stop. I had considered taking some of the prescribed medications that are available from the doctors and indeed this has proved to be very successful for a number of people I know. The only problem was, each person I spoke to said that the medication made them either manically depressed or suicidal. Considering my general mind set of the moment, I decided this was possibly not such a good idea. For me the biggest part of the whole stopping smoking thing was that although I knew how bad it was for me, I actually used to really enjoy it. If they could find a way that you could still have all the pleasure of smoking but without all the harmful tar and free radicals I would have been in there like a shot. Well of course now they have.

Thanks to the wonderful world of vaping and e-cigarettes. I am pleased to report that I have not had a single cigarette since the 25th January 2013. Hurrah and thrice hurrah!

For those of you that have not come across this yet, it is a form of smoking that allows you to get your nicotine fix by inhaling a harmless mix of vegetable glycerol and watervapour.

I think of vaporisers as little Turkish hookahs. They deliver exactly the same hit as a cigarette but without all the nasty carcinogens. Because there is no tobacco and no combustion there's no carbon monoxide, tar or any of the other 400 compounds too numerous to mention produced.There are loads of different makes and models to choose from and cost wise they vary from a few pounds to hundreds. My advice - do your research.

There is a wealth of information on the web about this. Read the reviews and you can’t go far wrong. The main thing is to realise that however much you spend initially; it will never cost you anywhere near as much as cigarettes did. Although there is still research to be done into the effect of inhaling water vapour and nicotine directly into you lungs initial findings would indicate that the parts per million of the chemicals present by doing so are no more risky than the average breath you take outside.

Considered by purists of the anti smoking brigade as a bit of a cop out, I would (until medically proven otherwise),defy anyone to come forward and deny that this could well be a hugely beneficial way for hardened smokers to improve their overall health. I hear the voices of the anti nicotine addiction chorus utter “But your still addicted to nicotine” Well yes that is true but I know plenty of people with addictions. Coffee, chocolate, alcohol even exercise.

Do you real think those nutters you see out road running when it’s pissing it down with rain are out there because its good for them – No. The only reason they do it is because they are addicted to the endorphins rush they get when they finally get in from the freezing cold.

As a substance in its own right without the additional bi products of cigarette smoke, nicotine is no more harmful than caffeine. Both are addictive, both have beneficial and negative properties. The danger comes if you indulge in either one to excess.

Will I give up my addiction to nicotine completely? I really don’t know. The fantastic thing about vaping is you can vary the strength of the nicotine you have. You can wean yourself of it by changing the strength of the liquids which all go down to 0mg.The other added bonus is the e- liquids come in an amazing range of flavours which makes it far more interesting than your standard Silk Cut purple which I don’t believe ever came with melon as a taste option.

I have now been 6 weeks without a cigarette, I love my vaporiser and yes I may be using it as a substitute dummy, as in it never leaves my lips, but surely that’s better than what I was subjecting myself to before. I have found something that I enjoy that replaces the “dirty cigarette” If it isn't doing me or anyone around me any harm does it really matter?

Even better than all of the above is the fact that you can quite legally use them in pubs and public places. I have used mine down "the local" several times and other than a bit of curiosity no one batted an eye lid.

From where I stand this is a win win. I save money and my life at the same time.  How many things can you say that about these days? Now all they have to do is find the equivalent substitute for alcohol and food and I'm saved!

Note to the original post - 29/07/2014 - I still have not had a cigarette. I am still using my vaporiser which I love. But still wait for the cure to food and alcohol!

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